.: It's My Life...It Never Ends... :.

If I'm going to continue updating here on even a semi-regular basis, I need a new template. This one is uglier than homemade sin.

I didn't post over memorial day weekend because I was on stress overload. My dog was sick, and had three trips to the animal ER. My dad had to get his medication changed because he'd had multiple rounds of insulin shock. This on the heels of his recent stroke was beyond scary. Me having to subdue a very angry and disoriented Vietnam vet so I could stick his finger and check his blood sugar is even more so.

But we went to the VA and got the meds changed, and he seems better, knock on wood.

We had a few scary days of thinking that Kimberly would have to have the surgery repeated on the other side of her brain ASAP. And I've been bickering with Paul for no apparent reason until it reached the point where we stopped speaking to each other. I repeatedly sent him text messages and tried to fix things -- which I will do, until it becomes groveling -- but I got no response, so I gave up. I don't grovel. I don't do one-sided relationships, ever. He's no exception.

But last weekend was a vast improvement, even though Houston has developed its usual hellish summer climate. I discovered an awesome bead store here in the hood and bought supplies for my latest project. Made a run to half-price books to get new reading material for my self-directed courses on women's studies and mythology. Swung by Hobby Lobby and bought some bandanas for Kimberly to cover her head, which they had to shave for the surgery. And scored a two new tarot decks from B&N.

My favorite neighborhood Chinese place reopened down the road, so I got to eat there. They veganize almost everything for me, even leaving the eggs out of the lo mein. I wanted Mongolian Beef, so the owner whipped up this awesome rendition of Mongolian Tofu for me.

T and J are both staying in with me, and we're brainstorming about upcoming projects. My RWA meeting was wonderful.

All this and managed to survive my period too.

Since I discovered the evils of menstrual oppression, I made the switch and my periods have never been the same. I will never go back to the horror of disposable pads. Never. If you honor your body, it will honor you. And sticking a piece of bleach filled plastic against your cooch ain't honoring your body.

Since The Giant Illness Of May 04 rendered me unable to eat dairy or eggs, I think about these things more often and try to make responsible, woman affirming choices about things, to take the gentle route with myself. I've always been my own worst abuser, and changing a few of these things has helped me to change my attitude and not to beat myself up for my physical imperfections so much.

And now that I have the dreaded full blown diabetis as well, and full blown CFIDS, and have to drink a whole glass of water to get the pills down every night, I need to be as nice to myself as possible. It helps.

I am still strangely happy. I don't have everything I want, and I doubt many people would look at the surface of my life and want to trade, but I have things that matter *to me*, even if no one else would value them. That's fine...I'm the one living this life.

It's my life...don't you forget it -- Talk Talk


.: 11:10 P.M. :.
.: Tuesday, Jun. 07, 2005 :.


.: << :: >> :.